Racin' & Different Stuff:
By Tom Avenengo
This coming weekend – Daylight Savings Time begins – move your clock an hour ahead sometime on Saturday, after midnight or when you go to bed.
September 5, 1942, my sister, Cathy, was born.
This past Sunday we had her and her husband, Hank, over for dinner. More than likely, later on this week, they’ll
head south, to
Anyone know how the “Blue Tooth” got its name?
Rumor: Of course we can believe everything we read on the Internet, right? The other day I read that the new pit area at OCFS, the one that will be outside of turns 3 & 4, won’t really be open/used until after the fair.
And this one, too about the new pit area: So the pits being moved to the outside i guess is canceled, too much money to pay for a fence to go around the new pits!!!!
On March 6, 1909, racing great Bill Schindler
was born in
You surely would not know it by our papers up
here – hell, even if you lived in
While catching glimpses of the racing this
past weekend from
Funny how so many so called “experts” swore that the right front tire/wheel and suspension parts off of Kyle Larsons’ Nationwide car went OVER the fence, and not actually through the weakest part of the fence, the cross over gate.
Has anyone ever tried to send an e-mail to the Wind Tunnel show on SPEED? I did. I have no idea if it was sent, or not, or if they even received it, for that matter.
Dennis Rodman going to
Does anyone actually know what role/part Ken Sands is playing/filling at OCFS? He’s been posting things on Facebook, like he is again part of the team at OC. Heck he even responded to something I mentioned, on Facebook. I’ve never seen any mention of him holding any particular position. I sent him a PM on Facebook, but no response as of 9:00 PM on 3/6/13.
There is this on his Facebook page, though:
“Question asked of Ken Sands: “Ken are you back at OCFS this year?”
His response: “Yes and we are having Nostalgia Night on June 8 - try to make it.”
Selinsgrove has 358’s on 3/15 and big block mods on 3/16.
Williams Grove opens for racing on 3/22.
The OCFS Motor Sports show is 3/23 & 3/24 in the arena on the Fairgrounds. Notice – no Friday night?
The OCFS Banquet is this Saturday!
44 cars entered for the Cup race at
43 cars entered for the Nationwide
The commercial on TV – the one where the cop pulls the pig over, during the day. Cop says he stopped him because the pigs car had a tail light out. Is it against the law to have a tail light out during day time hours?
Why in the papers and also on TV, do the writers and/or TV folks refer to our President as Barack Obama, and not just President Obama? Pretty sure in the past it was President Kennedy, President Johnson, President Carter, etc etc.
Watching FOXNews on
Tuesday night, while working on this column, one guest on one of the shows – On
the Record with Greta – made mention that some of the survivors from the
Nationwide Series driver Jeremy Clements elaborated Thursday on what led to his indefinite suspension from NASCAR competition.
Clements, who said he's suspended for at least two races, wouldn't reveal what comment he made, and paused when pressed as to whether it was racial in nature. Asked again, "Was it racial or not? Maybe not in context, but in term?" he replied: "Correct."
"When you say 'racial' remark, it wasn't used to describe anybody or anything," Clements told ESPN. "So that's all I'm going to say to that. And it really wasn't. I was describing racing, and the word I used was incorrect and I shouldn't have said it. It shouldn't be used at all."
Clements said he used the word once on Saturday. As he was exiting the driver's meeting at Daytona International Speedway, he said a female NASCAR employee approached him with a reporter from MTV. Clements told ESPN that the NASCAR employee asked if he knew where to find driver Johanna Long's transporter, and he personally took the pair to the location.
When they were walking, he inadvertently used a word that he shouldn't have.
"That's pretty much how it happened," he said. "And even after I said what I said, they still kept asking me questions. It didn't seem like it was a big deal at all. I didn't even think twice about it, like, after. I know I shouldn't have said it. Even when I did say it, I shouldn't have said it. But I didn't think it was going to be a big deal."
Clements said he received multiple messages from officials, and was honest with them.
"The guy asked me point-blank: 'Hey, did you say this word?' And I said, 'Yes, I did.' I was being honest. I did. I messed up. It was just one word and it wasn't about anybody. It wasn't even used as that.
While admitting his mistake, Clements thought he might receive a fine, rather than a suspension.
And this was posted on Facebook by a NASCAR driver:
“Knowing Jeremy Clement's, this "suspension" smells fishy. That kid just isn't that way. I hate when good kids are made an example of. Check the character of the writer who made the claim.”
Back on March 9, 1973, our
fifth child, Sarah Rose Avenengo, was born. Guess
that means that this Saturday, she hits the B I G 4-0! Time sure flies. Like others in the family, Sarah is also a
race fan, and she kinda misses going to OCFS and
Accord, since she now lives down in
Found on Jayski’s website:
Problems With NASCAR's High Tech Inspection Process?
is more to NASCAR's newest inspection device than meets the eye. The device, a
laser system to measure particular parts of a Ford,
Mother of Kurt, Kyle Busch in golf-cart accident at PIR:
Busch, the mother of #78-Kurt and #18-Kyle Busch, was among those taken to a
Phoenix area hospital Saturday after a golf cart tipped over in the tunnel
underneath Phoenix International Raceway. Kurt Busch tweeted last night:
"Don't get in any moving vehicle w/ my mom. She was involved in a crash in
the tunnel b4 the end of the race. A little banged up" He updated his
twitter page this morning: "Thx again for all the nice comments about mom.
She's here at the track & in great spirits. She was touched by all the
concern" According to Fox 10 in
No roof cams at
Sprint Cup Series cars competing on the series' intermediate tracks this season
will be doing so without the familiar roof camera, beginning with Sunday's
Subway Fresh Fit 500 at Phoenix International Raceway. According to series
director John Darby, the removal of the camera (for approximately two-thirds of
this year's points races) is just one of several moves
made during the offseason as officials worked through changes on the new
Generation-6 car. Of primary concern was how to lessen the impact of turbulent
air that previously hampered side-by-side competition at the series'
intermediate tracks. Roof cameras will continue to be used at Daytona and
Gate area a concern after crash:
Daytona crash investigation will focus on the gate area of the fencing and how
improvements can be made before the next superspeedway race at
Racing officials huddle on safety fencing:
The engineer behind the most significant safety initiative of this motor sports era the energy-absorbing SAFER barrier that covers the concrete walls of major race tracks said Thursday that an alternative to steel debris fencing will eventually be designed. But it will take time and money, highway safety expert Dean Sicking stressed. "None of it is trivial," he said. "But this problem will be solved." Attention to racetrack fencing started after SAFER barriers were first installed at Indianapolis Motor Speedway in 2002. A group of industry experts have been meeting regularly, most recently last week at the IndyCar office. Coincidentally, that meeting was held two days prior to Saturday's crash in NASCAR's Nationwide Series race at Daytona International Speedway. At least 28 spectators were struck by debris from Kyle Larson's car that smashed into the fence. Fences are charged with many tasks, led by keeping a race car from flying into grandstands. They also must collect as much debris as possible while not forcing the car into a sudden stop known as pocketing that subjects the driver to extra forces. Then there is the issue of fence posts, which were the contributing factor in Dan Wheldon's fatal crash at Las Vegas Motor Speedway in 2011. Sicking has said the next generation of fences should hang from cables that cars can't reach. Complicating matters is visibility for spectators. A Plexiglas material is used in hockey arenas, but Kevin Forbes, director of engineering at IMS, said there are distortion issues when placing the material over a large area. "Plexiglas is just going to completely and totally ruin the sight lines," he said. "When you start looking left and right a half of a mile, the distortion in Plexiglas is unacceptable. Then you're introducing something else that can break (when struck) and become flyable, and the cost is enormous." Sicking said there's a similar material that has been used along highway bridges for noise reduction and visibility, but that's expensive, too. A more likely option, he said, is using a combination of materials in the current fences to make the system flex better.in part from the(Indianapolis Star)(3-2-2013)
SPEED rebranding likely soon:
Sports is expected to announce this month its plans for Charlotte-based SPEED
channel. While motorsports will continue to be a big chunk of programming, the
company is likely to retire the SPEED name late this summer and replace it with
a channel called Fox Sports 1. This would provide Fox a platform to broaden the
channel's focus into other sports, including content drawn from the network's
NFL and Major League Baseball contracts. It is not clear what the impact will
be on SPEED's modern production hub at
SPEED to be rebranded as Fox Sports 1:
Sports Media Group officially unveiled plans to launch a new, national,
multi-sport network called FOX Sports 1. The announcement was made by FSMG
Co-Presidents and COOs Randy Freer and Eric Shanks.
Set to debut on Saturday, Aug. 17, just as FOX Sports kicks-off its 20th
anniversary year, FS1 is available in over 90 million homes, making this the
biggest sports cable network launch in history, and one of the largest network
launches ever. At the outset, FS1 boasts nearly 5,000 hours of live event, news
and original programming annually. A robust schedule of live events forms the
backbone of FOX Sports 1's programming from Day 1, with college basketball,
college football, NASCAR, soccer and UFC all on tap between launch and year's
end. In fact, the schedule on Aug. 17 features live events morning, noon and
night including a NASCAR Camping World Truck Series race from
NASCAR programming will include: Select NASCAR Sprint Cup Series races as soon as 2015; NASCAR Camping World Truck Series races; NASCAR Sprint All-Star race; all SpeedWeeks events leading up to the Daytona 500 including: Daytona 500 Qualifying, Sprint Unlimited at Daytona (2014, 2017-22) and the Budweiser Duel, now in prime time; NASCAR Sprint Cup Series and NCWTS Practice and Qualifying sessions; NASCAR RaceDay, providing pre- and post-race coverage; NASCAR Victory Lane, a weekly wrap-up show; and Race Hub, a daily mid-day studio show with the latest from drivers, owners and garages.
FSMG's experimentation with the "double box" commercial format, intended to keep viewers engaged throughout breaks, is expected to be an FS1 staple.(Fox PR)(3-5-2013)
Sprint Cup Series races will be shown on the new Fox Sports 1 channel starting
in 2015, the network announced. Fox Sports Media Group has the rights to [the
season's first] 13 races, and the news release Tuesday did not indicate which
of those races will move from network television to cable. NASCAR officials
confirmed when the Fox 2015-2022 deal was announced last October that the
Daytona 500 will remain on network television. Speed shows such as NASCAR RaceDay,
Allmendinger and Penske continue a remarkable journey:
months removed from the biggest mistake of his life, AJ Allmendinger
understands just how extraordinary second chances are - especially coming from
the man who was forced to fire him. Before the 2012 season even started, Allmendinger had attained a lifelong dream. He was hired to
drive team owner Roger Penske's #22 car in the NASCAR
Sprint Cup Series. After 17 races in the Penske ride, his career was in
shambles, as Allmendinger fell victim to a singular
lapse in judgment and to a random drug test, administered at Kentucky Speedway,
that discovered amphetamine in his system. Penske had no choice but to dismiss
the 31-year-old driver after a "B" sample confirmed the results of
the initial test. But Penske did so reluctantly, and since then the car owner,
convinced that Allmendinger's mistake was a one-time
occurrence, has been working to help his former driver repair a shattered
After completing NASCAR's Road to Recovery program last year, Allmendinger earned reinstatement to NASCAR competition and competed in four Cup races in James Finch's #51 Chevy. In that same car, Allmendinger will make his 2013 Cup debut Sunday at
While Cup drivers were practicing for the Daytona 500, Allmendinger was two hours away in
NASCAR retains law firm for Daytona crash:
and International Speedway Corporation have retained a Miami-based law firm to
handle claims from fans injured in a Feb. 23 Nationwide Series crash. At least
28 fans were injured when Kyle Larson's car went airborne into the catch fence,
sending debris flying into the front stretch stands on the last lap of the
race. NASCAR is conducting an investigation to see if the catch fence did its
job, focusing on the area around a crossover gate where the engine of Larson's
car ripped through.
TRD Racing SVP Talks Engine Trouble:
David Wilson, Senior Vice President of Toyota Racing
Development, joined co-host Danielle Trotta on
tonight's edition of NASCAR Race Hub on SPEED to talk about the recent engine
Danielle Trotta: You've described the problems that we've seen in the first two races as an emotionally charged issue, what has the past few weeks been like for you and TRD?
David Wilson: Certainly, the last thing you want to do is start off the season by digging a hole for any of your drivers. It's our responsibility to give them enough trouble-free weekends and build that confidence back up. I feel the most for Kyle (Busch) because purely by circumstance, purely by misfortune, he's suffered the most amongst all of our drivers in the past couple of years. We likely cost him (Kyle) a shot in The Chase last year. We all know how well he ran during those last 10 races, and we've all done the math there. First a foremost, is to first 'man up' and take responsibility, and try and give them the confidence that we are going to get this sorted, and we are going to put them in position to win races, which we know our equipment is capable of.
Trotta: When you experience problems like this in the first two weeks of the season, I know you are already at the track; do you increase personnel at the track or back in
Trotta: Moving forward to Vegas, you've said that you've got enough performance, but what (you) don't have enough of is margin and safety. That's where your focus is. Could you explain more about that?
Wilson: As we take our engines to the race track, one of the most important things that we do in developing those engines, is making sure that they do have the reliability and the durability because clearly, if we're not seeing failures here at the shop, but we're seeing them at the race track, then we're not pushing the engines hard enough. Based on what we saw at
News from the AARN:
Note: Don’t forget – if you’re a subscriber to the AARN, you can have the free digital version. That is available on Tuesday mornings.
From their March 5th edition – picked up from the Digital Service:
In one of his articles he makes mention of the possibility of a driver walking away with $10,000.00 if he uses the Gamblers Bonus at the RoC race at New Egypt on Saturday, March 23rd. $4,000.00 to win, the if the driver pays a $100.00 “Gamblers” fee, he could then get that 10 grand.
In his normal column, Sammons tells us that Anthony Sesely will be leaving pavement racing to run a 305 sprint car on dirt in 2013. Sesley might, however, take his 600 TQ down off of the rafters on occasion and run it at Borgers.
In his column he makes mention that 2013 will be the last year for Keith Kauffman as far as his racing goes. Keith has over 300 Sprint Car wins over the years.
Dave makes mention of his
thoughts about the racing at Daytona – especially on the little track. He said he misses the NASCAR Toyota All Star
Showdown that used to be held at the Irwindale
Raceway out in CA. He also says that the
short track drivers should still race down in
Note: If you recall, a year or so ago, it was said that Irwindale was closing up. When that was announced, NASCAR (in their greed) came out with this new so called “track” on the backstretch at Daytona. Well guess what? Irwindale is still running. Maybe that NASCAR Toyota All Star Showdown should go back there?
Herb had a full page devoted
to the late George Hamid, Jr. Mr. Hamid left us
on February 23rd at the age of 94.
He was the owner of the
J. R. Kennerup:
“JR” is wondering what
happening to asphalt racing. At a car
show this past weekend, there were only 5 asphalt cars in attendance. Carl Nagel suffered two heart attacks this
past weekend. “JR” hints about some big
news to come out of the Motor Sports show that’s in
In his column, John makes mention of how some “contracts” with drivers were written, back in the day. As an example – a top Indy car driver from the 60’s – the driver was signed for $6,500.00 to run the entire Champ Car series. BUT, the driver had to buy an Offenhauser engine for the car – cost: $6,500.00. The driver would keep half of the monies won. The sponsor would take out a $10,000.00 life insurance policy on the driver and the driver would get a gasoline credit card for him to use for his traveling to racing events. The sponsor also supplied the uniform and other “necessary” items. In the event of serious injury, or death of the driver, his estate would receive what the driver paid for the engine. So, in essence, the driver basically got an insurance policy and a gas credit card.
Scott questions was racing really better “back then”? Some possible reasons why it was better “back then”:
You went to a one division show with 40-50 cars in the pits.
The show started at 8:00 PM and was over by 11:00 – or earlier.
Or a two division show with 100 cars, and still done by 11:00.
A driver had to qualify for the feature.
The ingenuity and original thought that you could see in the various cars.
You sat shoulder to shoulder and knee to your back in the stands, surrounded by people.
You didn’t need a special race for those types of crowds, either; they were like that every week.
The different varieties of car bodies and chassis.
When there was a special race – everybody was there – both drivers and fans.
But, to really answer if racing was better back then, well, you actually had to be there to witness it. I was. It was better, back then, believe me.
This writer has known young
Matt Janiak for quite a few years. He used to race against my grandson, Brett,
on the Dirt Oval at
Special congrats must go out to Matt Janiak for this unselfish deed.
was crowned the CRSA 305 Sprint Car champion at their banquet. John Matrafailo
placed second and Brittany Tresch 3rd. Matrafailo went to
school with my oldest daughter, Judy, in
The ESS will be 30 years old this year. How I wish they’d come down to OCFS for a show or two.
“The 60 Over Special”, to be
In case you were not aware –
the 27th annual Moto Sports Expo is this weekend in
Some of the topics in this weeks AARN’s issue:
Snow Doesn't Deter Lincoln;
Siegel is Glad It Didn't
Back From The Brink:
Moving Full Speed Ahead
With New Staff, Ideas
New Egypt's 'Cabin Fever 60'
RoC Winner Could Earn $10,000
In USAC Arizona Swing
Is Crate Sportsman Racing
Losing Its Original Concept?
Keith Kauffman Announces 2013
Will Be His Last In Racing
Fairgrounds Square Mall Show
Wraps Up Successful Run
Of Nationwide Driver
Borgers Rules Meeting Saturday March 9 At
Due to the snowstorm and Medivac Helicopter landing at our first scheduled meeting at the Wind Gap Fire Hall many people wishing to attend the meeting could not get on the property. After numerous requests we have decided to reschedule the meeting.
The rules and information meeting will be held Saturday March 9 at 1:00 p.m. at Borgers Speedway in the Borgersgarage. Many changes will be discussed including the five race Champ Kart King of The Asphalt series. Our two sanctioned ATQMRA races will be discussed as well as the Micro Stock Racing Series events. Pit parking spots will also be on sale.
March 23 and 30 will be our open practice sessions from 11:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. with our season opener April 6. We will also have our 2013 schedule available.
We are currently looking for an announcer for the 2013 racing season. Applicants can contact me firstname.lastname@example.org
For further information follow us on Facebook and the Borgers web site www.borgers-speedway.com
News from BD Motorsports Media LLC – ‘Crazy 8s Special’
Media Contact: Brett Deyo – Deyo99H@aol.com or 845.728.2781
For Immediate Release/March 5, 2013
88 BC Building Supplies Signs On As First Marketing Partner For I-88 Speedway ‘Crazy 8s’ Special On Wednesday, July 24; Nineveh, New York Business Sponsors “Gambler’s Bonus”
When the first-ever ‘Crazy 8s Special’ at
the Afton, N.Y., facility rolls off this summer, 88 BC Building Supplies will
serve as the sponsor of the “Gambler’s Bonus” for the big-block/small-block
Modified 48-lap feature. The
The base pay for the ‘Crazy 8s’ Modified winner is set at $4,888. Should a driver roll the dice and take the 88 BC Building Supplies “Gambler’s Challenge” that amount increases to $6,888 for just 48 laps of competition around the fairgrounds clay oval. Including the posted “Gambler’s Bonus” the total Modified purse for the evening tops $27,000.
88 BC Building Supplies is located at
For race teams, the ‘Crazy 8s Special’ is
a must-attend event. The payout
for second through 10th positions,
respectively, is as follows: second, $3,888; third, $2,288; fourth, $1,688;
fifth, $1,488; sixth, $1,288; seventh, $1,188; eighth; $1,088; ninth, $988; and
The race will offer $388 to take the green flag.
Joining the Modifieds
on the unique doubleheader program will be another I-88 first: a visit by Gary
Montgomery’s touring BRP Can Am 360 Late Model Series. The full-fender drivers
will run qualifying and a 30-lap feature to complete the card.
Drivers can expect a long list of bonus and special awards to be distributed on race night in addition to lap money. Those interested in marketing opportunities should contact Brett Deyo by e-mail at Deyo99H@aol.com or via phone at 845.728.2781. BD Motorsports Media is on the web at www.bdmotorsportsmedia.com.
The first-ever BD Motorsports Media promotion, in Oct. 2006, was contested at I-88 Speedway, then known as Afton Speedway. Mike Ricci of
I-88 Speedway is located off I-88 Exit 7
in the Village of Afton, N.Y. (outside of
I get e-mails:
Subject: Fw: Snopes NO MORE
Wow...read this one! Then check out the suggested web sites!!!
Many of the emails that I have sent or forwarded that had any anti Obama in it were negated by Snopes. I thought that was odd. Check this out.
Snopes, Soros and the Supreme Court's Kagan.We-l-l-l-l now, I guess the time has come to check out Snopes! Ya' don't suppose it might not be a good time to take a second look at some of the stuff that got kicked in the ditch by Snopes, do ya'?
We've known that it was owned by a lefty couple but hadn't known it to be financed by Soros!
Snopes is heavily financed by George Soros, a big time supporter of Obama! In our Search for the truth department, we find what I have suspected on many occasions.
I went to Snopes to check something about the dockets of the new Supreme Court Justice. Elena Kagan, who Obama appointed, and Snopes said the email was false and there were no such dockets. So I Googled the Supreme Court, typed in Obama-Kagan, and guess what? Yep, you got it; Snopes Lied! Everyone of those dockets are there.
So Here is what I wrote to Snopes:
Referencing the article about Elana Kagan and Barak Obama dockets:
The information you have posted stating that there were no such cases as claimed and the examples you gave are blatantly false. I went directly to the Supreme Courts website, typed in Obama Kagan and immediately came up with all of the dockets that the article made reference to. I have long suspected that you really slant things but this was really shocking. Thank You. I hope you will be much more truthful in the future, but I doubt it.
That being said, Ill bet you didn't know this.
Kagan was representing Obama in all the petitions to prove his citizenship. Now she may help rule on them. Folks, this is really ugly.
Chicago Politics and the beat goes on and on and on. Once again the US Senate sold us out!
Now we know why Obama nominated Elana Kagan for the Supreme Court. Pull up the Supreme Courts website, go to the docket and search for Obama. She was the Solicitor General for all the suits against him filed with the Supreme Court to show proof of natural born citizenship. He owed her big time. All of the requests were denied of course. They were never heard. It just keeps getting deeper and deeper, doesn't it? The American people mean nothing any longer.
It's all about payback time for those who compromised themselves to elect someone who really has no true right to even be there.
Here are some websites of the Supreme Court Docket: You can look up some of these hearings and guess what?
Elana Kagan is the attorney representing Obama!
Check out these examples:
If you are not interested in justice or in truth, simply delete.
However, if you hold sacred the freedoms granted to you by the U.S. Constitution, by all means, PASS it ON!
There truly is tyranny afoot.
Found on Facebook:
I have a BIG PROBLEM with us sending 60 million in aid to
Fast and Furious.
From Mar 4th:
hit on Friday and John Kerry announced $250 million in aid for
Much is being made of the rise of the Dow Jones, but what the
media does not want to talk about is the reality of other numbers back when it
was over 14,000 vs. today as it has technically risen
that high. For example, when the Dow Jones was previously this high, the number
of unemployed Americans was 6.2 million. Today, it is 13.2 million and that
doesn't include all those who stopped looking for a job or who filed for
disability. Check out this brief, but informative article. It is an eye opener.
Some non-racing stuff:
MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow Gleefully
Admits To Using Edited Video To Smear GOP - See more
Kyle Larson – Some say he’s the next Jeff Gordon. Put him in any type of race car and he wins. You name it, he raced it. Well until Chip Ganassi told Kyle that he could no longer race a wingless sprint car, that is. Why was that? The video below should explain it.
Note: The photos are not available on Dirt Track Digest, only on New England Tractor - http://newenglandtractor.com/racereport/
Pictured above with her is her all time favorite driver, Buzzie Reutimann, who was helping his brother Wayne, and his nephew, at the PRA race for Silver Crown cars at the USA International Speedway.
Below that is one
of the greats Dave Steele, who comes from
The next photo is another great driver – Johnny “Hot Rod” Heydenreich. That photo was taken before Johnny had that bad accident with the car hitting the wall tail first then having a big fire ensue. I’ve posted that video a few times in my columns.
Next is Sarah with Jimmy Kite, who is the only one of these drivers pictured that has actually run in the Indy 500. I had the opportunity to interview Jimmy some time ago and he still remembered me. Jimmy, along with Buzzie and Johnny all, at one time, have run at OCFS.
Last, but not
least, is a driver from the
Closing with these:
1. ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA, FLOOR.
2. ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION.
3. IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYS AND APES?
4. THE MAIN REASON THAT SANTA IS SO JOLLY IS BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHERE ALL THE BAD GIRLS LIVE.
5. I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, "WHERE'S THE SELF- HELP SECTION?" SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE.
6. WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS?
7. IF A DEAF CHILD SIGNS SWEAR WORDS, DOES HIS MOTHER WASH HIS HANDS WITH SOAP?
8.. IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO KILL HIMSELF, IS IT CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION?
9. IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM?
10. WHERE DO FOREST RANGERS GO TO "GET AWAY FROM IT ALL?"
11. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL EATING AN ENDANGERED PLANT?
12. IF A PARSLEY FARMER IS SUED, CAN THEY GARNISH HIS WAGES?
13. WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK?
14. WHY DO THEY LOCK PETROL STATION TOILETS? ARE THEY AFRAID SOMEONE WILL BREAK-IN AND CLEAN THEM?
15. IF A TURTLE DOESN'T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED?
16. CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS?
More of these next week.
Until next week, folks!
As usual, you can reach me at: email@example.com